Discipling our children

"Jesus didn't meet with his disciples once a week for Bible study and then say, "I'll see you next week!" He gave his disciples his whole life. He lived with them, slept with them, traveled with them, and lived out a life of godly maturity before their eyes. Having the personality of the God who created the universe living with them every moment for three years gave them an understanding of his ways that nothing else could do. They observed him in the private times of friendship and eating and sharing and being exhausted and buying and preparing food as well as in public ministry- teaching, healing, worshiping, confronting, encouraging. There was perfect integrity between the words he spoke and the life he lived. Thus his disciples could learn what righteousness looked like in all situations.
In the same way, our children will learn righteousness best by seeing it lived out in every possible way in our lives, moment by moment, in the context of normal life. As we teach our children to do unto others as we would have them do unto us, they need to see it lived out in our lives so that they will know what it means...the first principle of reaching our children, then, is that we have to make the TIME to be with them. And we need to be diligent to practice what we preach!...
Jesus talked to his disciples about the Scriptures and their meaning, he talked to them of God and his ways and laws, and he talked to them of the future. In their time together, he covered every possible subject from faith to humility to prejudice to forgiveness, adultery, murder, love, food, and morality. Our children, too, need consistent, systematic instruction and teaching about God'd Word and ways."
-Sally Clarkson The Mission of Motherhood

I have been thinking about discipleship a lot lately and as I was reading in my Sally Clarkson book this morning I found that what she says goes right along with what has been on my mind and heart for a long time now. These days it is so easy to get ourselves and our children overly involved in activities outside the home... Bible studies, sunday school, VBS, awana and various other church activities, along with sports, music, dance, co-ops, play groups and other extracurricular activities can take over our lives to the point where families are never together. I am not saying these things are bad and that we shouldn't participate in them, but the more time our kids spend involved in all these extra activities, the less time we have to disciple our children...but we need to make sure we are leaving enough time in our days to really walk and talk the Scriptures with our children (Deut.6).
Ultimately we, as parents, are the ones who are going to be held accountable for providing them with a solid foundation in scripture and instilling God's words and ways in their heart, soul and mind.
Also, I have discovered, it is just as easy to be distracted by activities within the home as without. Just because I don't have my kids in 100 extra-curricular activities doesn't mean that I am using my time with them wisely. There have been times when I am sitting on the floor playing with my children, but my mind is not there with them... I find that I am running down the "to-do" list in my head...or I will get so caught up in household chores and meal preparation that I will not leave my task to tend to an argument between the children. In those moments I am ignoring the opportunity to disciple them. More than anything children want our time and our heart. They want to feel that we really love them and are interested in them...they want to know that we are listening when to them when they are expressing their thoughts and ideas. They don't want that empty nod of the head and "uh-huh, that's good"... they recognize when we are only half-heartedly giving ourselves to them.

The other thing that has been heavy on my heart is walking the walk- being a living example for my children. It is not enough to simply read the scriptures to them and go to church- we must be living a life that lines up with the Word. I have found in talking to several people and just through observing many different families- hypocrisy is the number one reason that people turn away from their faith in God and the number one reason why children who are brought up in "christian" homes abandon the way they were raised as they come into adulthood. They see believers and their very own parents saying one thing and then doing another. They see their parents giving lip service to God but they don't see the fruit of a genuine relationship with the Father. This will only breed bitterness in the heart of our children. However, none of us will be capable of constantly walking as Messiah did- we will make many mistakes, but I think we should live in a way that our children know that that is our goal- to have a closer walk with Him and then be willing to humble ourselves before God and our children when we do make mistakes. If any of you know Micheal and Debbie Pearl- they have ministry called No Greater Joy and we have enjoyed several of their books (though, like anything some things need to be filtered), but they have a book called Jumping Ship, which is a collection of a series of articles that they published in their monthly magazine. I believe you can read back articles on their website www.nogreaterjoy.org. These articles explore some of the reasons that kids "jump ship" as they get older and what can be done to prevent that from happening in our own homes. It talks a lot about hypocrisy and child-training, but most of all it talks about winning the hearts of our children and creating an atmosphere of joy in our homes. It does no good if we discipline and train our children but don't have joy in our homes. They may be outwardly obedient, but their hearts will still be rebellious. I believe wholeheartedly that we need train our children up and discipline them when necessary, but we also need to express the great joy that comes from having a relationship with the Father.

As I think about all these things, I can't help but think about how much being a parent is forcing me to be a better person...(though there are moments when parenting has brought out the worst in me!) But overall, having these little eyeballs constantly watching me- observing and copying my behavior, attitude, language etc. It is an excellent source of accountability for me. So I am as determined as ever to put my words and faith into action in my daily walk. I want to slow down, and not become so overly involved in other activities that my heart and mind become distracted from my true purpose- which is training and discipling my children.