The G.R.A.I.N. of Your Homeschool

I am usually not a big fan of using acronyms in speeches, lectures, or sermons, but in this case I was pleasantly surprised. This was the title of one of the workshop sessions given by Misty Spinelli at the NCHE home school conference 2 years ago. I loved what she said so much that I ordered a CD of her lecture so that I could listen to it at the beginning of every new home school year. It is inspiring, encouraging, honest, practical advice on daily living and homeschooling, and a great reminder of all the real reasons that we home school. This is an analogy that compares homeschooling to making bread and I would like to share some of the goodness with you.

G. Goals. This is like the recipe for our bread- the list of ingredients; the reason and the vision for your home school. She says we should home school for the adults that our children will become some day. First she says to make a wish list of all the things we would want our kids to be when they grow up, which of course would include all the virtues and would look something like this: wise, discerning, patient, kind, humble, self-sufficient, forgiving, strong work ethic, academic success, good social/relationship skills, a good brother, sister, friend, husband, wife, mother, father...etc. Now imagine that you show your list to God and He says your list is great, but if you could have only one of those things on the list what would it be? So you pick the most important thing on the list and from there you start to prioritize the list in order of importance and what usually ends up happening is that academic success falls pretty low on the list. There is no doubt that we want our children to be successful and that might mean going to college, but the truth is that true education involves so much more than academics and true success is measured by so much more than a college degree and a scholarly mind. We are educating a WHOLE person, not just the brain. If we followed the priority list of the world it would be: getting a good college education, having a successful career, making a lot of money, buying lots of material things to show for your success and so on. But whose priorities are we following? As a homeschooling mom I know how easy it is to get caught up in choosing curriculum, focusing on the academic checklist and trying to cover all the subjects each and every day, but when I step back and evaluate the reasons why I home school I realize that it is not so much about academics as it is about walking out Duet. 6 with my children.

R. Relax. This is when we allow the bread to rise. What do you do to make bread rise? Nothing. Let it rest. We all need rest from the constant stimulation that we are exposed to everyday- the radio, TV, computer, cell phone, etc. We need a break from these things and so do our children- time to formulate our own thoughts, time to be still and quiet- to commune with God and hear His voice. It is critical that children have down time to process what they are learning. There is a great book called the Power of Play by David Elkind that talks about the importance of providing our children with unscheduled free time to play and use their imaginations or to just sit quietly and watch the birds or look at books. So, it is one thing to provide free time for our kids, but it is much more difficult to provide it for ourselves. Why is that? We have chores to tend to (the never ending pile of dishes and laundry), we need to pay bills, grocery shop, plan meals, prepare for the days ahead, balance the checkbook, work on the house- the list goes on. The truth is that homeschooling is not an easy job and it is critical and equally important that the parents find moments of peace, prayer and rejuvenation as well.

A. Answers. This goes along with relaxing. Go to God for all your answers. Get on your knees. Open dialogue with God and ask specific questions about individual children. It is not possible to home school in your own strength. You will fail and feel like a failure. No one can possibly know everything and we shouldn't try to teach our children everything. We get these "have to's" in our head that aren't "have to's". Ask yourself whose "to-do" list are you working from? the elementary school down the road, the world's, Abeka's, our own or God's? We need to seek His to-do list. Seek wise council with the Father, pray and ask for His guidance on this home school journey.

I. Instruct the will of your child. This is like the shaping of the bread. It is critical that we help our children form good habits before any formal instruction takes place. It is very difficult to teach a child that is lazy, disobedient, and has a poor attention span. A habit is something you do effortlessly. It is a gift when we give our children good habits. The key to breaking negative habits is to set up natural consequences that directly relate to the habit that you are trying to break and be 100% consistent in implementing the consequences. (I have found that consistency is the hardest part but it it definitely worth it in the end.) Consistency, encouragement, and repetition are the keys to building good habits. I cannot say that I have completely mastered this area, but I do know that there is a mutual benefit for both me and the kids when they get their work done quickly and with a good attitude.

N. Nourishment. How do the majority of Americans eat? Fast, fun, but not very nourishing. What does the world say about homeschooling? We need a teaching degree, we need a classroom in our home, we need to cram their heads full of useless facts so that they will appear to be learning something. It isn't healthy to eat junk food that provides our body with nothing but empty calories and in the same way we shouldn't waste our children's time by filling them up with facts that don't really mean much in the long run. Let's fill them with true nourishment- let's fill them up with things that will really help them grow; a WHOLE education, love and a loving environment, time spent together, and the wisdom of the Word.