Plant For Today

"Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit." Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that." -James 4:13-15

One day fruit trees were on sale at Lowe's and Matt asked if we should buy some. Even though it is "our plan" to sell this house and buy some land a thought popped into my head...we should plant for today. We don't know if we will be alive tomorrow. We don't know if our house will ever sell. We may never have land. We just don't know.

We got news while we were in the mountains this June that my dear grandpa had been diagnosed with lung cancer. We immediately decided we would take a trip up to NY to visit him while he was still healthy. I am so very thankful for that decision. We had the most wonderful visit. He got to meet Addy Ruth and hold her little hand. Elijah enjoyed sitting with grandpa, simply reading books together and listening to the occasional story or joke. Grandpa watched the kids play at his feet and I know he wanted to be on the floor playing with them- he always enjoyed doing that. He told me stories of his childhood and youth. About going to war and getting married and starting a family. I laughed and cried and I didn't want to say good-bye when it was time to get in our car and come back home to NC, because I was afraid it was going to be the last time I would ever hug him and look into his wonderful, smiling, gentle eyes.

It is very rare that I have a good night sleep. Kids wake up in the night, I have to nurse Addy, I wake up and can't go back to sleep, can't seem to stop the thoughts. Two nights ago I fell asleep praying for my Grandpa that he would be without pain- that he would close his eyes and pass away peacefully in his sleep. That night I slept better than I have in a very long time. The next afternoon I received a phone call. I felt a lump in my throat- it was hard to swallow, but it happened just the way that I prayed and I know it was the prayer of many.

"For we have brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of it either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content." -1Timothy 6:7-8

Contentment was planted within my grandpa from a young age and it carried him well through his life. I never once heard my grandpa complain about anything and he didn't have an easy life. His parents came straight from Germany during a time when people weren't friendly towards Germans, he was left handed in school- was punished for it and was made to feel he wasn't cut out for academics, he worked the graveyard shift in a tire factory his whole life in unhealthy, unpleasant conditions, yet I have never heard him complain about his life. Not once.
My grandpa was the sweetest, most gentle, content and truly humble man I have ever known. His words just linger in my mind. I found an old letter from him that he wrote me after I shared the news with him that I was pregnant with our first child.
He says, "Isn't love wonderful! I mean it just fills you up! One time I was shaving and I was squirting the shaving cream out of the can onto my hand- I thought that is what love is like- when you let it out it just grows and grows and you could never put all that shaving cream back in the can again because it is just too much. When you first get to hold your new baby in your arms and count it's tiny fingers and toes and kiss it's little nose it is just way too much. When I was just a little guy my parents were quite poor and sometimes I would tell my dad "I wish we could have car" or "I wish we could go on a vacation" and things like that. Then he would tell me "Instead of wishing for things that you don't have just give thanks for what you do have" and then we would kinda take inventory- he would help me to think about my mom, dad, and sister and how much we loved each other and I knew I already had everything I could possibly wish for- LOVE! I'm sure that at this time in your marriage there are many things you could use to make your lives easier and more comfortable and the list of things that you don't have is much longer than the list of things that you do have but I promise you that the love you have in your hearts for each other and that little baby that is starting to grow in your tummy is more precious than all the treasures on earth."

Even though we are a vapor- here for a short time and then gone, we have a chance to plant for today... seeds of joy, peace, love, kindness, gentleness, humility. My grandpa did just that, for the fruit of his character and the seeds he planted will be present from generation to generation. It is a lovely inheritance.