Finding meaning in the mundane

The other day Jonas went down for a nap and I decided we needed to go outside. I felt the boys just needed to be out in the fresh air. A lot of times when we go outside I don't direct their activities because I want them to have the freedom to explore their world and make fun for themselves. So I decided I would use this time to do some raking. I ended up spending 2 hours raking the entire backyard. I felt very good about this because I was getting some exercise while accomplishing a task that needed to be done. It was a very satisfying feeling. I wasn't going to tell Matt about it because I wanted it to be a surprise. Well, he had night class and didn't come home until it was dark so I thought he could just see the good work I had done in the morning. However, by the time morning came the ground was literally covered with leaves. I could not even see the grass. All my work from the previous day was covered by a new batch of leaves that had blown in overnight. I immediately thought of Ecclesiastes and wanted to shout "vanity of vanities, all is vanity." I have thought this a lot of times about dishes. The minute I get the kitchen clean, it is a big fat mess again after the very next meal. Sometimes I think the majority of my housework is in vain. The minute I finish a task, it gets undone. So it got me thinking about the meaning of these mundane tasks that we all face from day to day. I thought I would find some answers in Ecclesiastes, so that was my starting point.

"For what does a man get in all his labor and in his striving with which he labors under the sun? Because all his days his task is painful and grievous; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is vanity. There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and tell himself that his labor is good. This also I have seen that it is from the hand of God. For who can eat and who can have enjoyment without Him?" - Ecclesiastes 2:22-25 True meaning, pleasure, joy, satisfaction etc. all come from the hand of God. So I am reminded to keep my eyes set on Him, especially in my everyday tasks, when it is easy to lose perspective. It goes on to say "I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor- it is the gift of God." - Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 This says that we should see good in all our labor because it is a gift from God. So I am reminded to be thankful for all of those leaves that I have to rake because it means that I have a warm house to live in with a backyard for the kids to play in, when there are people who don't have a home or a bed to sleep in ... to be thankful for all those dirty dishes because that means that I have had three wholesome, delicious meals to eat everyday, when there are people who are hungry and don't even have clean water to drink. Then it says, "Go then, eat your bread in happiness and drink your wine with a cheerful heart; for God has already approved of your works. Let your clothes be white all the time, and let not oil be lacking on your head. Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun." - Ecclesiastes 9:7-9 This passage reminds me to perform my daily tasks with a cheerful heart. I have put a lot of thought into this one in particular. I think it is important for my children to see me doing work around the house, but it is even more important for them to see me performing those tasks with a good attitude and a cheerful heart. The Pearl's say in one of their books "Actions speak louder than words, but attitude speaks louder than actions."

So I learned an extraordinary lesson from the ordinary... God is in the mundane-especially in the mundane... teaching me to have a thankful, cheerful heart and reminding me that He gives meaning to my life- even in my everyday tasks.

Having fun with dress-up

My kids love dress-up. They have so much fun taking on these different identities! Elijah is really into superheroes right now. I usually have to play the damsel in distress and he is always there to save the day. Often times Caleb, innocently and unknowingly, gets placed in the role of the antagonist. He doesn't seem to mind! These are a few pictures of some of their favorite alter-egos.

Patience

"He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. A tranquil heart is life to the body, but passion is rottenness to the bones" -Proverbs 14:29-30

"But You are a God of forgiveness, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness... -Nehemiah 9:17

I wish I would have read these passages before this incident occurred. The other day when I was fixing lunch I noticed that Elijah put on his roller skates, but I didn't think too much about it. He is usually pretty good about not running into things and I hadn't established a "no skating in the house" rule. Well, as I was just about to put their plates on the table I heard an enormous crash. I ran into the living room to see what happened and Elijah was lying on the floor with a small accent table on top of him and my favorite vase, broken, on the floor beside him. He was crying and saying that he was sorry, he didn't mean to break it, he didn't know that he would skate into the table. I could tell he was nervous about what my reaction was going to be. I didn't yell, but I gasped "Oh No! My favorite vase!", then I just sat on the couch and put my face in my hands trying to process what had happened- trying not to overreact. I was thinking about how we don't have a lot of money... we don't have nice furniture or a lot of material possessions, but this piece of pottery was one of the few nicer items that we own. The selfish side of me wanted to dwell on the fact that one of my nice possessions was ruined. Then I reminded myself that we should not place importance on wordly possessions. Looking at the big picture- that vase is not very important, but my reaction to Elijah was crucial... an opportunity to model patience and forgiveness. It is so easy to look back on the event with the right attitude. However, in the moment I wanted him to feel guilty for what he had done. Even though I didn't yell at him or discipline him, I punished him with silence. I didn't say "Don't worry about it, it is just a vase, accidents happen, I know you didn't mean to..." I saw that he was feeling guilty and I didn't say any of those things to show forgiveness towards him at the time. This was not the right reaction. Is this the way our Heavenly Father deals with us when we disappoint him? Absolutely not. I made it right with Elijah later in the day and explained to him that I had a wrong attitude and expressed my forgiveness towards him and asked him to forgive me. I always hope he won't remember when I deal with him wrongly. Sometimes I worry that I am ruining my children. Thankfully children are very forgiving. No wonder we are called to be like them.

In the end, he may not remember this incident, but I will. The next time something gets broken (because I know this won't be the last time!) I will remember that no worldly possession is worth getting upset over. Maybe next time I will remember how God deals with me... with grace and forgiveness.

Deer in the headlights!

Some are silly, some are scary...and then there's Seb.

Thanksgiving in the mountains

We went to my hometown of Hendersonville for Thanksgiving. It sure was nice to be back in the mountains. My heart always lets out a sigh of relief when we come up I-40 around Old Fort and I get my first glimpse of the mountains. 23 family members and friends came to the dinner, so we had a great turn out. It was fabulous catching up with everyone and eating all that delicious food together. We all pitched in and it was a great success.

TV Bad, Books Good

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, Never, NEVER let
Them near your television set-
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all. In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink-
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
It rots the senses in the head!
It kills imagination dead!
It clogs and clutters up the mind!
It makes a child so dull and blind
He can no longer understand
A fantasy, A fairyland!
His brain becomes as soft as cheese!
His powers of thinking rust and freeze!
He cannot think- He only sees!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
They...used...to...read! They'd read and read,
and read and read, and then proceed
To read some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wonderous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants...
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How The Monkey Lost his Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know, Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away, And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something good to read.
And once they start- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.

-An excerpt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by the magnificent Roald Dahl


We don't believe that tv is "evile like the devile", but anything in excess can't be healthy. We let our kids have a movie night once a week, and I don't have a problem with that. As quoted from the Berenstain Bears Too Much TV "I don't have anything against TV...What I'm against is the TV habit- sitting in front of it day after day like old stumps waiting for dry rot to set in." (by the way, Matt finds it very funny that I am quoting the Berenstain Bears...but 90% of my reading these days is from children's books, so what do you expect?)
Moving on... I am proud to announce that we have finally put the rabbit ears to rest in the attic! I am very excited about that because we don't let the kids watch tv, yet when they go to bed we watch a few shows from the 6 or so channels that we receive from our rabbit ears. We initially got the ears when Matt broke his ankle last year and was couch bound for 2 months... but somehow they just stuck around. It is so easy to get caught up in a show, but it is a such a waste of time and life. I found myself actually having conversations with people about tv shows and talking about the characters as if they were real people! How silly. We have lived the majority of our married life without tv, and the days without it were much more productive. So, it is time to stop being a hypocrite and put the rabbit ears out of sight...and start living up to the standards that we hold our kids to.

The Baby IS The Lesson

Just a few months ago I began feeling overwhelmed with trying to homeschool my oldest child with a toddler and a newborn alongside. I felt like I wasn't getting much accomplished and I was beginning to get a little frustrated with the little interruptions of nursing, changing diapers, wiping noses etc. That is when a very kind Titus 2 woman emailed this article to me and it really helped put things in perspective. It is long, but if you are in my shoes it is well worth the read.

The Baby IS The Lesson
One morning on my daily walk, I was fretting and stewing over what I could possibly do with my one-year-old during school time. I was feeling some despair with a new baby on its way. I couldn't see any end to the disruption of babies in my home school for many years to come. I was praying and scheming at the same time: I could wait until the baby's nap to teach school, I could rotate the children with baby-sitting chore away from our schoolroom, I could get a playpen, etc.: all solutions that didn't feel right--babies needs their moms! As I walked and pondered, suddenly the Lord introduced one sentence to my mind and revolutionized my mindset entirely! "The baby IS the lesson!" I thought I was trying to teach Math, but in reality I had been teaching, day by day, how an adult values the precious gift of children. My children, by watching how I deal with the frustration of a crying baby or keep a toddler happy and busy with some of his "own" pieces while we play a math game, are soaking up "the lesson". Unfortunately, I had occasionally been teaching that the baby interrupts our learning. How to be a Christlike person is the most valuable lesson a child could ever learn! The lesson is learned moment by moment; watching a parent being patient, handling frustration with kindness, pressing on for the goal in spite of numerous interruptions, valuing each child's needs regardless of inconvenience. That valuable insight--how Mother handles the baby is the real lesson--has dramatically changed how I view my home school. I am teaching foremost my values: godly character, kindness, respect for others, individuality, sacrifice and a host of other Christlike attributes. Teaching them reading, writing, math, etc. is very important to me but my perspective has been altered. "Mimic me, follow me and I will show you the way a Christlike person acts and what he values". That is the message every parent relays to their children whether they are aware of it or not. Children try to copy everything anyway (our mannerisms, our daily activities, etc.). We must be certain that we are providing a correct pattern for them to copy, not only in our daily activities but in our attitude, our tone of voice, and our facial expression. We need to conduct our lives so that we can say "follow me". If our children are to "buy" our values, what a tremendous responsibility we have to make sure we are living our best so the lesson is clear and well learned! What more could you ask for from your homeschool than to produce Christlike people?! Teaching your children basically means getting your own personal life in order and striving daily to be the leader for them to follow. Of course, we fall short and they must look to Christ for the perfect being but they need to see daily how one acts, speaks, lives, solves problems. We are acting as a proxy, in a sense, for Christ. Since they can't have his daily role model, then he has given his children parents to be an example, to point the way. Along with lesson preparations, we need to prepare ourselves by asking: is the pattern I live the way Christ would act? Can I say today that I have marked the path for my children to follow? Children learn from seeing their parent's role model. Watching an adult make a simple mistake (such as being too punitive with a child) and go through the process of repenting is 100 times more effective than your devotional lesson on repentance. This means children must be intimately involved with you in your daily life. A few hours a day after school won't do it. Children should be involved in the adult's life rather than daily life rotating around the children. Research has shown that children who have grown up to be productive, well-adjusted adults are those who have been drawn into the parent's world; their daily activities, work, and interests; rather than having parents who centered their world on the child. When I began home schooling, I never could find the time to do the things I felt were important for my life; such as writing in my journal, corresponding with relatives, studying my scriptures, and more. Somehow, in my busy-ness of trying to teach the kids how to write in their journals, I was neglecting my own journal writing. Thankfully, we now have journal writing time in school daily, and we write letters to relatives together as a family on Sunday. Homeschool life should help parents do the daily necessities, rather than usurp the time needed for them. Home maintenance, chores, food preparation, gardening, food preservation, budgeting, clothing care (mending and sewing), planning family social relationships, caring for small children, record keeping, quilting, wallpapering, etc. are all wonderful life skills that can be done together that enhance a child's education! The parent's joyful task is to lead and guide the child into the real world--not set up a contrived pseudo-world to teach skills that the children would easily learn if they spent their time around adults who were striving to live good lives. What constitutes an adult trying to live a "good life"? Being a productive adult would constitute a full-time curriculum! Plant a garden, read good literature, serve the needy, be politically aware, keep a journal, vote for honest men, develop your talents, etc. The exciting part about leading a child into the real world is that they are self-motivated. The moment I sit down to play the piano, all my children want to play and want me to teach them to play something. No sooner than I begin typing on the computer, I have the whole family "needing" to type. My efforts at writing have, humorous to me, stimulated the production of "books" from my youngest children. Modeling is so much more effective than lecturing. Studies show that the biggest determining factor for a child's success in reading in school is if they have seen a parent reading in the home on a regular basis. This is especially true for boys if the parent who reads is their father, rather than their mother. Somehow, the example says far more about the value of reading than endless hours in school reading groups. In every area, it takes instruction to teach skills to little people. Children need to master the basic academic skills (reading, writing, arithmetic), social manners, music competence, and a host of other abilities and that does take focused concentration and time from mother/teacher to accomplish. It isn't realized just by living in a family. But shared family life practices and contributes to those skills. Having taught my little girl the numbers and the plus, minus and equal signs and how they worked, she jumped right into figuring out how many plates she needed to set the table using her new skills: ("We have 9 and the boys are gone to college so that is minus 3, so we need six"). When we think of homeschool, sometimes we get tunnel vision, and think "academics", "keeping up to speed" and other worrisome concerns that don't really tell the whole story. Homeschool is the growing and nurturing of fine, upright people. So, how we treat and value the baby really is the lesson. Class never dismissed.
—Diane Hopkins (http://www.lovetolearn.net/policies/baby.lasso)

"Abstract qualities of character don't mean much in the abstract. It is how we live, how we serve, how we teach our children, what we do from day to day that both indicate what we are and determine what we are; and all the theory and all the speculation, all the quoting of scripture . . . don't in the final and saving sense amount to very much." -R. Evans

lesson from a child

Today was a gorgeous fall day. It was clear, sunny and in the low 70's. Tommorow a massive cold front is supposed to blow in. I was bound and determined to spend as much time as possible outside with the kids and enjoy the beautiful warm weather. With three kids, some days I feel it is very difficult making it out the door. I had everyone fed and dressed. But with 3 boys, they were already hungry again- only 30 minutes after breakfast. So they were asking for drinks and snacks...but I had not been to the grocery store in quite some time and we were very low on supplies- so I was scrounging around the kitchen trying to throw together some kind of snack to bring. While I am gathering the food they are trying to eat it out of my hands and I am trying to explain to them that they wouldn't have any snacks to eat at the park if they ate it all while we were still home. Then, I heard a poop explosion coming from Jonas who was sitting in the bouncer across the room with a very satisfied look on his face. I went over to inspect the damage. Sure enough, it was a major blow out- out all ends of the diaper. At that moment I mumbled under my breath " Well, that is just typical". Then I proceeded to perform a major clean-up job, therefore hindering us from getting out of the house in a timely fashion. I was starting to show a bad attitude because I was so focused on the goal of getting out of the house by 10 a.m. (which was the time of departure that I had set in my mind). A few minutes later I heard Elijah playing with 2 of his Ninja Turtles. He was making them dialogue as usual. But this is what I heard the turtles say- the first one said " Well, that is just typical" and the other turtle replies "Just relax, calm down". Now, of course, these words are actually coming out of Elijah's mouth and he was telling me in a roundabout way- to just RELAX. So, I took his advice and I calmed down. We made it out of the house by 10:30 and it wasn't the end of the world. We went to the park, had a picnic, went on a nature walk, collected some leaves...and it turned out to be a very good day.
Were the events of the morning really worth all the stress that I allowed it to cause within myself and our household? Not at all. My kids are watching me in those everyday moments and situations to see how I will act and react. I am teaching them something in those moments. They are learning by example. Today I taught them that mommy doesn't have much patience and she gets stressed over the little things... and today Elijah was the teacher and he taught me to calm down. Thankfully children are forgiving. My kids are helping me see that every word and action is important. I pray that God will give me the patience and wisdom to be a good example for them. I learn so much from my children. They really are helping me become a better person.

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer." - Psalms 19:14

Baby Jonas

My what big eyes you have... the better to see you with my pretty! No, baby Jonas is not the big, bad wolf...but he does have big eyes:) I can't seem to get a good picture of him smiling because he does not like the camera. I work so hard doing all kinds of funny faces, but he just gives the camera a hard, confused stare. Nonetheless, I wanted to include some pictures of him because I felt like he was being left out.

A look back at Caleb!

I thought it would be fun to take a quick trip down memory lane. See what I mean! They really do grow so fast. I am trying not to think to hard about it or I will start to get sad. He is not the baby any more!

Happy Birthday Caleb!

Caleb the warrior turned 2! It is hard to believe. I was looking at pictures of him from the previous winter and he looked like such a baby. I know it is cliche, but they really do grow up so fast. "Cabub"(as he calls himself) has to conquer every task that he faces and he does so with fierce determination. His favorite things right now are making his toys dialogue with each other and building giant creations with his blocks and then running through them like a wild stallion. Speaking of wild stallion...He loves his new birthday horse! That was a fantastic birthday splurge from the grandparents! I am also thrilled that he has developed such a great love for books at such a young age. He is definitely following in Elijah's footsteps in that arena. We are so thankful for the fun, love and laughter that he brings to our household. We love our sweet little Caleb!

Seasons

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice
You In children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer
And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come
You are autumn
And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter
And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me summer, autumn, winter, spring.

- Every Season by Nichole Nordeman

Fall is my favorite season. I love the smell of smoke coming out of the chimneys and the crisp, cool air. I love watching my kids jump in the leaves. I love the delicious, comforting foods of fall. I love curling up on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate... but what I love the most about fall are the radiant colors. It is amazing to me that the leaves turn these beautiful colors just before they fall and die. I know that all of these things point to our Creator and Messiah in their own way and for all these things I am thankful.