Patience

"He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. A tranquil heart is life to the body, but passion is rottenness to the bones" -Proverbs 14:29-30

"But You are a God of forgiveness, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness... -Nehemiah 9:17

I wish I would have read these passages before this incident occurred. The other day when I was fixing lunch I noticed that Elijah put on his roller skates, but I didn't think too much about it. He is usually pretty good about not running into things and I hadn't established a "no skating in the house" rule. Well, as I was just about to put their plates on the table I heard an enormous crash. I ran into the living room to see what happened and Elijah was lying on the floor with a small accent table on top of him and my favorite vase, broken, on the floor beside him. He was crying and saying that he was sorry, he didn't mean to break it, he didn't know that he would skate into the table. I could tell he was nervous about what my reaction was going to be. I didn't yell, but I gasped "Oh No! My favorite vase!", then I just sat on the couch and put my face in my hands trying to process what had happened- trying not to overreact. I was thinking about how we don't have a lot of money... we don't have nice furniture or a lot of material possessions, but this piece of pottery was one of the few nicer items that we own. The selfish side of me wanted to dwell on the fact that one of my nice possessions was ruined. Then I reminded myself that we should not place importance on wordly possessions. Looking at the big picture- that vase is not very important, but my reaction to Elijah was crucial... an opportunity to model patience and forgiveness. It is so easy to look back on the event with the right attitude. However, in the moment I wanted him to feel guilty for what he had done. Even though I didn't yell at him or discipline him, I punished him with silence. I didn't say "Don't worry about it, it is just a vase, accidents happen, I know you didn't mean to..." I saw that he was feeling guilty and I didn't say any of those things to show forgiveness towards him at the time. This was not the right reaction. Is this the way our Heavenly Father deals with us when we disappoint him? Absolutely not. I made it right with Elijah later in the day and explained to him that I had a wrong attitude and expressed my forgiveness towards him and asked him to forgive me. I always hope he won't remember when I deal with him wrongly. Sometimes I worry that I am ruining my children. Thankfully children are very forgiving. No wonder we are called to be like them.

In the end, he may not remember this incident, but I will. The next time something gets broken (because I know this won't be the last time!) I will remember that no worldly possession is worth getting upset over. Maybe next time I will remember how God deals with me... with grace and forgiveness.